又老一岁了。

its scary how when you age, time seems to double up the speed, or even tripled.
more than 100 warm wishes from everyone.
PH on my birthday.
dinner with my family.
what more can i ask for?

im blessed.

year books during my sec sch days made my cleaning slowed down that day. its really really heartwarming to see your pics, your names there in it besides them only appearing on e class photo. the events that i have attended, the photos that are captured. somehow it makes me feel proud that i have achieved something in life. and not just purely a student with no aims, no achievements.

‘autographs books’ during primary sch days was a highlight as well. totally cant believe that i owned 5 of them. and in them, the people who wrote in them are much of a repetitive. don’t even know why i made them write so many times. and when i read them, it just makes me smile. but what really made me laugh my ass of is that i even have rules n regulations prior to writing on my book. and i wrote stuffs like don’t call me after 8pm? HAHAHA. also, given that we are only 9-12 years old back then, the poems that was written made me feel that our English was actually not bad.

not forgetting the number of soft toys i found in my room. countless n countless of them that kor’s girlf says – i didn’t know your room could store all that. and a number of them has a story behind it; which i intend to keep till old. some from my mom, some that i painstakingly save to get them, some from my admirers in the past and some from my ex-boyf. but i especially like the vampire that my god mom bought me when i was freaking young; yes, I’m freaking old now! and the snoopy that my tuition teacher gave to me during children’s day when i was primary 4.

all these made me feel that packing my room was definitely worth my time. i have always love keeping things, even tiny little things, i still safe keep with me. big or small, i believe all of them has a special meaning, a special reason to be here with me. memories is something that i love and will always love it; good or bad. for memories which are instilled in me will never change even when the person does.

就算你把一个多好的女生给一个男生，他始终还是有机会对别的女产生关系。
a wife that do everything for e husband.
treat him like he’s the most important thing in the world.
a splendid marriage of 10 years.
but yet,
the husband still betrayed the wife and fell in love with another girl.

WHY WHY WHY?
not only saying this happen to guys.
perhaps even vice versa.
but why?

难道真爱，真心对待一个人，都不能得到好的回报吗？

Kind of envy. Being able to pursue what she really wants without any money consideration, and on top of that, of cos her courage as well – a cafe of her own, sharing w people on a fm radio; all at e age of 25y.o.

If earning money was not my concern, I would want to be a full time volunteer. And go around e world helping e poor and the needy. I’m sure that will definitely make anyone’s life fulfilling. But too bad; don’t come from a rich family to allow me to have the ability to do so in terms of financial support. And given the high maintenance society we are in now, no income is a no-no.

If only.

25y.o Stomach cancer. Expired in less than a year. It was super traumatising to me; and I can’t imagine how isit for his family and his loved ones.

Been tgt with his girlf for 7plus years. Went thru ups n downs, breakups and finally decided to spend the rest of their lives tgt early this year, they ROM. Just after they did, they illness strike on him and played a joke on them. And now, he’s gone.

You can’t keep him here on earth; looking at him in pain, suffering with reduced quality of life as they days pass by. But yet, how to let go and face reality that this is nothing but the truth?

Diamen, you r a strong boy. This battle wasn’t easy and I’m sure u fight ur best. You can have your favourite subway, beehoons now. free from suffering and pain. May you be at peace. And angeline, you are a even stronger lady; staying by daimen side all these while. If Its me, I will probably be depressed for life. Sigh. Continue to be strong and he will watch over you.

Jiayou! <3.
Life's unpredictable.
Be contended.

homed with mom – lying on bed and chatted. tickling me bcos i refused to go back to my own room and wanted to sleep in her room. i feel so like a kid; that kind of feeling – superb. definitely made my day happier than when i left work.

im so glad, super glad, ultra glad, ultimate glad that my blog has revived. i’ve been away for so long cos i suffered a temporary memory failure. totally cant remember my password AT ALL despite numerous tries till i got banned from trying. everytime i got the feel to blog and remembered that i dont remember my password, i will go emo-mo-mo. super depressing. didnt want to create a new blog as well for this blog is where all my memories are at.

okay. IM A HAPPY GIRL NOW.

:):)

but now, one week more into my third month at my new work place, i still feel lost; so so lost. i feel like a dumbass who know nuts. cant even make simple phone calls i.e for i dont even know the number and have to wait for my colleague to be avaliable for me to ask them the number before proceeding with the next step. makes me wanna dig a hole and bury myself in it. always standing there, not knowing what to do. wonder if my capability dropped or the environment doesnt suit me (this shldnt be an excuse in any circumstances, i know).

have been thrown like a ball from treatment area – dilution area - dispensing area. yes, its good that im a all rounder and i understand the reason for this happening (its the first time they are practising this, and im their first guine pig). but everytime before i could finish learning and mastering a area of work, im asked to proceed to the next. its like i-know-all but i-know-none kind of feeling.

sigh.
less than an hour ago, published a post on something that says happiness is all it takes and now im sighing. how contradicting.

what doesnt kill me makes me stronger.
i will get thru these, like i did previously.